If someone in your household inflicts the following type of behavior on you, you may be suffering from domestic abuse.
- Jealous: often imagines partner is having an affairs. May be jealous of family, friends or even own children.
- Bad temper: either flares up over every little thing or lets anger build up and then explodes.
- Tells partner it is all her fault; projects own faults unto her(“if you didn’t….then I wouldn’t”)
- Jeckyl and Hyde personalities: other people may not believe the woman when she tells what is happening.
- Strong beliefs of sex stereotype for men and women (the man is the head of the house and the women cooks, cleans and cares for the children.)
- He may have a problem with alcohol or drugs. While this does not cause the abuse, it can make it worse.
- May have other problems with the law.
- May play with weapons such as knives or guns.
- Tries to isolate partner. Discourages her from seeing family and friends, or from working or getting better education.
- Tries to control women’s behaviour and/or thoughts through brainwashing techniques.
- Uses verbal assaults (insults, put-downs, slanderous names)
- May expect his partner to act like a mother to him but then resent it when she does. No mater what she does she is wrong.
- Will do what ever it takes to drive his partner away, then whatever it takes to get her back (Grabbing the children, apologise profusely, take her out to dinner, cry real tears promise everything – knowing exactly what she wants to hear: “I’ll go to church/counselling/AA” I’ll never…..again”.)
- When he physically abuses his partner it tends to follow a pattern. Some men always hit the woman in the face, others are careful to hurt her where the bruises won’t show.
- When abuse has occurred he minimises the seriousness of it or denies it completely.
- After the explosion he feels better and can’t understand why his partner remains hurt, upset and angry.
- He may apologise for the abuse and promise that it will never happen again but while he apologises he may be subtly blaming her
- He comes from a family where abuse was used on the women and/or children.
Domestic abuse is a crime. In Northern Ireland domestic abuse accounts for approximately one-fifth of all recorded violent crime.
On average there are five domestic violence deaths in Northern Ireland every year.
From March 2014 to April 2015, 932 women and 689 children stayed in Women’s Aid refuges throughout Northern Ireland.